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An Open Letter To Various "Service" Providers

Dear Crappy Service Provider

As I am writing this letter, I am currently on hold with you awaiting assistance for the problem I am having with my (insert service here). After entering my account information fifteen times, I have managed to make my way to the options menu and been given my options by your peaceful and eternally cheerful artificial assistant. I think that either she or one of her relatives may be named Emily. I have selected my option which is, of course, to speak to a customer service representative.

I have been informed that you are experiencing a higher than normal call volume and that I should stay on the line in order to keep my call in priority sequence. Which is what has brought us to our current impasse. Coincidentally, I am calling over lunch and suspect that the message you are broadcasting should actually state "Many of our customer representatives are choosing to take their lunch at this time rather than being online to serve you at a time that is convenient for you". Either that or there are a great number of unhappy callers. Or, you are doing such fantastic business that you are being swamped with new subscriptions. Given the price of your services and the stellar service I have received I suspect that it is a higher than average volume of angry or dissatisfied callers.

I am a busy woman, which means that I do not always have the time to sit around for forty-five minutes in order to resolve a problem that involves someone at your company flipping a switch to fix. My bill is ever spiraling up and out of control and if I felt that this would lead to better customer service for me instead of fatter pockets for you I would be more comfortable with the situation.

Call centers are opening up at a phenomenal rate all across this wonderful country. Customer service representatives do not earn a ton of money (believe me, from brief personal experience, I know this for a fact). If you want to keep your customer base, I suggest taking a profit hit and hiring more CSR's to provide your customers with service. Because after 45 minutes on the phone, I really think that I can stand to live without just about anything.

I also know I am not the only person who feels this way.

Sincerely,
Ticked Off and Tired of the Crap

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